Inside: Everyday minute is different, but everyday is the same. Somedays the monotony as a stay at home mom feels suffocating. But it doesn't have to be. Here is how.
Being a stay-at-home mom can feel awfully monotonous, can’t it? Even though one day looks vastly different from the next, it all involves the same little tasks and schedules every day - regular naps, diapers that must be changed, meals that need to be cooked, disciplining that has to be done, the crying and whining that seems to erupt at the same time every afternoon right before your husband walks through the door…
No day is the same, but at the same time they are all so similar. The days start to meld and run together. And it can be draining, exhausting, and, if we are being honest, boring.
The first few weeks at home after I quit my job with my baby boy were magical. I felt so free. But it didn’t take long before that freedom started to feel limiting. I began looking at the clock more - some days felt like months.
I have a feeling you have felt the same before, too. Because I think a lot of us mamas who stay at home with our babies feel that way from time to time.
Being A SAHM Doesn’t Have To Feel Monotonous
I have heard some working moms say that they are better moms because they work. And I believe that is true. But not because they leave their house every day and are away from the kids. How many of you have had a few hours away from your kiddos and still come back drained? It’s not the time away that makes them a better mom, but rather it’s that at their job they are able to engage and stimulate their mind in a way that energizes, rejuvenates, and motivates them to be a more intentional mom.
As a SAHM, you can have that, too.
Because being at home with the kids all day doesn’t mean that you can’t have that same rejuvenating outlet. And I would suggest that being at home all day means that you must have a creative outlet of some kind.
While there will always be some days that feel absolutely endless, there is one thing we can all be doing that will make our days at home with the kiddos feel less monotonous.
Every Mom Should Have A Passion Project
Mama, we need to be pursuing a passion project. Some creative outlet that marries the natural skills that you have been given and the passions that stir around in your spirit.
That doesn’t mean that your passion should be totally separate from being a mom or being a wife (though it totally could be). Within your role as mama there is something that you are especially skilled or talented at that you should be actively cultivating.
Maybe you love preparing food for your family - then hone and practice and cultivate that skill! Take time to enjoy cooking.
Do you love to paint? Create a great piece that you can hang in the empty hallway that will bring a smile to your kid’s faces. And then teach your kids how to paint! But don’t stop painting - keep practicing that talent.
Whatever you find enjoyment in doing, find time to cultivate that passion. It is important that you know what your skills and talents are, and then actively work to hone and nurture those.
Why, exactly? I’m glad you asked....
5 Unexpected Reasons Every Mom Should Have A Passion Project
1. It will force you to be more outwardly focused
Several months after quitting my job I started to notice that almost everything that I thought about had to do with my little family. I was thinking about what we would play next, what we would have for dinner, how I could re-organize and make our lives more simple. But I didn’t like that everything was about us. There was a giant big world out there, and I wanted our lives to be more outwardly focused.
When you start being intentional about cultivating a skill or passion you will begin to see how that passion can be used to benefit and serve others. And not just your family, but the community and world around you.
For instance - if you are intentional about honing your love for cooking, I bet you will naturally start wanting to share that with others. Maybe you will start making more meals for people in your life who are struggling, or volunteering to bake bread for a fundraiser to raise money for a family who is in the process of adopting internationally.
By cultivating your interests and hobbies you will begin to see ways that you can use those passions and talents to encourage your community.
As mamas, our number 1 focus should be to nurture, care for, and encourage our own families - but that should not be our only focus.
2. You will increase your confidence in social settings
Have you ever been with your husband to a work event or business gathering only to feel totally alone, uninteresting, and completely out of place? Me, too.
If we don’t have interests or hobbies outside of our kids, it is easy as a SAHM to feel uncomfortable in situations where our kids aren’t at all involved. We crave adult interaction and intelligent conversation, but when we are in a room with other adults it’s hard to find something other than our little ones to talk about! So instead of engaging in conversation, we shrink to the corner.
Having a hobby that you are cultivating and nurturing naturally lends itself to more interesting conversation. And you will feel an increase in confidence when you have more to talk about - plus others will find you more interesting, too 🙂
3. It will open opportunities to meet new, interesting friends
At a mom’s group last year I met a girl who I instantly connected with. She was easy to talk to, interesting, and thoughtful. And you know what? Our conversations hardly ever revolve around the kids. Because we both have a common interest outside of our children - we both love to write! And eat Thai food 🙂 Having a hobby outside of motherhood has made this friendship much more interesting and fun - a friendship that might not have really gone anywhere if I wasn’t pursuing my own hobby.
If the only common ground that you have with your other mom friends is your children, the friendship won’t go very far or deep. Plus, it will just get boring - I don’t know about you but I get tired of talking about my kids all the time...
4. You will get better at time management
If you feel like you couldn’t possibly add a “passion project” into your schedule, then time spent working on a hobby might be just what you need.
When you are working on something that you love you will find time to make it happen. And you will figure out a way to make everything else work out, as well.
You will make time for what matters.
You will also notice you spend less time scrolling mindlessly through Instagram, Facebook, or Pinterest (which one is your vice???) and more time using the extra minutes of your day being productive.
So while adding a hobby to your schedule might seem impossible, forcing yourself to include one will probably reveal that the time you did have wasn’t spent as productively as you thought.
5. Lead by example - teach your kids to pursue something outside of themselves
Up until about a month ago I refused to do any work when the kids were awake. I would not write, brainstorm, or be on the computer when my boys were up and playing - I was either playing with them or getting house chores done. I did this because I didn’t want my kids to associate me with a computer. I wanted them to know I was always with them.
In fact, I have said in the past that I didn’t want my kids to even realize that I had side projects I was working on. But one day my husband stopped me and said:
“I want them to see you working and pursuing what you love. That’s fine to tell them that you can’t play right now because you have work to do. They should see that you are working and producing and they should know what it is that you are working on.”
Pursuing a hobby or passion outside of your kids sets the example - they will see that using our passions, given to us by God, is a good and right thing to do. And it shows them that creating and producing is what we, as humans, were created to do. It shows them that we were made to serve others and look outward instead of inward.
It’s Time To Start Working On Something That You Love
Mama, it is right and good for you to work on projects and pursue passions. You should be cultivating those skills and talents that you have been given. And you should be setting the example to your kids that shows them the importance of using those skills for the good of others.
When you question the time you spend on a hobby remember this: working on a passion project will -
- allow you to be more outwardly focused
- increase your confidence in social settings
- open up opportunities to meet new, interesting friends
- make you better at time management
- allow you to show your kids how to use the skills given to you by God
So go on mama, it’s time to think about your unique skills and passions, and start cultivating those for the good of your family, your community and the world.
Life as a stay at home mom doesn’t have to be monotonous and boring. In fact, I think it just got a little more exciting 🙂
I’m rooting for you!
