Inside: It's hard to actually enjoy playing with your toddler. In fact, it can be...downright boring! I've got good news...it doesn't have to be...here's how:
If you are anything like me, you know that so many days (more than we like to admit), we spend most of our time darting around corners and ducking in closets to get a break from our kids. We crave and want to get more calm into our lives, right?
I've been guilty of running off to do "house chores" (aka. listen to podcasts, scroll through social...) - which always leaves me feeling unsatisfied - and like a crappy mom.
One of the reasons this happens is because we dread the repetitive and mundane activities that seem to be what entertains our little ones.
Kids LOVE repetition. Adults...not so much.
Too often playing somehow becomes them bossing us around and showing us and telling us what they want to do, while we begrudgingly follow suit waiting for the minutes to tick by until we can ESCAPE.
You want to enjoy playing with your toddler...but it's just so dang boring/annoying/monotonous...
Why You Don't Like Playing Your Toddler
So many of us dread playing with our toddlers because playing with them is a one-sided activity, where we are always doing what they want us to do instead of thinking about how we can have fun TOGETHER.
We become their little puppet - not a friend and playmate.
We assume that because we're playing with them, we have to do what they want, when they want, and how they want.
Peter Gray, a research professor at Boston College, says:
"If you 'play' with your child without wanting to, you are not really 'playing'".
Why It's So Important To Enjoy Playing With Your Toddler
Play should not just be about entertaining them. In fact, it shouldn't only be about spending time with them and enjoying them, either. It should also be about teaching them social and relational skills - how to give and take.
Play should be about sharing ideas and being equally involved. Without this, we are teaching our little ones selfish tendencies.
As Peter Gray explains,
"The ability to express displeasure, to rebel, to quit, is what makes play such a powerful tool for learning".
Now, I get we are talking about toddlers here so I do not think in any way that we should be "rebelling" and stomping off "quitting" (because this just teaches them how be a brat, and do they need to be taught that???), but I do think the idea applies - if we do not show our little ones that we have a say in how we play together, we are not teaching them how the world really works.
We are robbing them of learning how to compromise and share, and how to make mutually beneficial decisions, and how to work with others.
Playing with our kiddos can be so draining because we are not involving ourselves in the decision making process - if we are not truly engaged and present parents. We are letting them decide what gets played, when it gets played, and how it gets played. If we have a say in the activity and become equally involved in the decision making, imagining, creativity, excitement, then play becomes about ourselves and our little ones coming together to enjoy each other and learn from each other.
So how do you do this? How do you become more involved and equally directive of the play instead of just a prop in the play?
It takes practice, and it takes some creativity on your part. Learning to play like this does not come overnight if you are used to always following the instructions. Here are some things you can do to get into the habit of playing with your little one, instead of always being a prop in their play - here is how to enjoy playing with your toddler:
4 Tips To Actually Enjoying Playing With Your Toddler
1. Do Things That You Enjoy
What so you like to do? Are you like me and love to do things that are tangible and sensory? If so, set your kids up with some finger paint, play dough, or slim and jump in there, too!
Do you like to be active outside? Then grab a ball and bat and get out there!
Do you love to read? Lay out in the sun and look at book together.
Don't always give them the option of what to do, but instead aim for having at least one semi-planned activity a day doing something that you, mama, enjoy.
>>> READ: Tips To Be A More Patient Parent
2. Sometimes, Say No.
If you find your little one bossing you around, telling you to throw a frisbee up into the tree a million times in a row (done it!) or to rebuild the tower they have destroyed for the 100th time, you can say "no"!
If they get upset and throw a fit....sounds like a good time for a little lesson in "you can't always get what you want".
Not only does this save your sanity, but it's not healthy for our little ones to grow up thinking that they are the queens and kings of their world. They live in a society where we all work together, share, and compromise. Play is the mechanism for which they can learn that.
3. Put Down The Distractions
Really, any distraction is going to appear more enticing than playing with your kiddo, right? Even wiping the kitchen counters or putting clothes in the laundry seems like a day in the park compared to getting on the floor and engaging with them!
So figure out away to get rid of all the distractions. Put your phone in your bedroom and leave it there. Play outside or in their room if there are chores to be done (so you can't see them). You can get to those later. The less distracted you are, the more creative, imaginative, and present you can be with your child.
Remember, you want to be their playmate, not their play prop. 🙂
4. Designate Time for Them To Play On Their Own.
There are times in the day when your child needs to play on their own, and it is OK for you to turn them down when they ask for you to join in.
This should be obvious, but sometimes as mamas we feel guilty for not engaging them 24/7. But it is healthy and good for our little ones to learn to play and imagine on their own, without other playmates! It gives their little brain time to wonder and explore and create on their own terms. So incorporate time for them to play on their own, and for you to either get some things done or to just read for a bit. It will give you the mental break you need for fully engaging with them later on.
I'm Convinced You Can Actually Enjoy Playing With Your Toddler
To really enjoy playing with your toddler, figure out ways to make it about both of you.
Think about things that make your creative juices flow and pull out that inner child. Not only will that help you engage more fully with them, but it will also teach them that not everything is about doing exactly what they want, when they want it, how they want it.
This is a lesson in good social interaction 🙂 It will be good for them, and you.
So go, get creative, and have fun - it's time to start enjoying playing with your toddler.
I'm rooting for you!
